With all your heart, do you want to:
Feel that people pay attention to you, listen to you, and respond to your requests?
Feel attractive, smiled at, and noticed in a positive way by the people in your life, as well as people you meet for the first time?
Feel part of things, receiving social invitations from friends or finding it easy and comfortable to make new friends?
Move from feeling tired, grey, and exhausted to having a hopeful attitude and more energy based on real, practical, and easy choices that will start making things better from day one?
If you answered yes to at least two of those questions, then this post is for you. Read every line to the very last word.
There is a lot to be said about being irresistible. Because, many women might have more to say about not being irresistible and this is where I become helpful. Even after being divorced a time…or two…I have found what it takes to be that head-turner that we love to hate (but find irresistible).
Below are my tips for becoming irresistible.
- Confidence is Sexy: Be Confident and You will be Irresistible.
Yes, I talk and talk about how important confidence is in attracting men. But there’s an excellent reason for it! Even if you can’t change anything about your physical appearance, learning to boost your confidence is an instant upgrade that delivers results every time.
Not only do men see you differently ( “Wow. She is so sure of herself. I want a woman like that!”), but you see yourself differently as well. You stop settling for men that don’t fit what you want in an ideal partner and set higher standards for yourself. All of which helps you find the right man for the rest of your life.
Don’t believe me that men find confident women appealing? Look to science. Researchers have conducted several studies, all of which confirm that confidence is a highly-attractive trait in a potential partner.
Confidence builds you composure and helps you keep Eye Contact.
This, actually, is a great way to illustrate your confidence. A shy woman who is sure a man isn’t interested in her will keep her eyes down and maybe steal glances from afar.
A confident woman, on the other hand, will look him right in the eye and smile. Maybe even wink! He might be married. He might not be interested. But she doesn’t care. Because she’s hella confident.
If eye contact is difficult for you, practice it more. At work, with friends, in a restaurant, always maintain unbreaking eye contact with whoever you’re talking to. Then practice it with men you find attractive. Eventually, it will come naturally to you!
- Be Independent to Make Yourself Irresistible.
Have a fab life!
Let’s look at two different women:
Veronica is eager to start dating. She’s cleared her schedule and, if asked, would agree to go out with a man this evening. Even right this minute!
Laurie has a full life. She wants to date but isn’t willing to rearrange any of her activities to go out with a man. He may have to wait a week to see her!
We all know that men like to chase women. Veronica, however, takes the thrill of the hunt away. She’s available. Too much so. Laurie, on the other hand, is more appealing because she’s less available. Men will wait in line to get on her calendar.
Which do you want to be?
Being independent has multiple benefits. Yes, it’s part of learning how to be irresistible to men, but it also keeps you busy. You’re not pretending you have plans to make a man wait for you…you actually are so busy you have trouble fitting him in! Having an independent life means you do what you want to be happy, and you fill your life with activities you enjoy. A man should enhance that, not replace it.
Fill your life with people and activities that bring you joy. Don’t give them up when you meet a man…especially because your independence will be the thing that draws him to you!
- 3. Appearance
Appearance has a lot to do with irresistibility, but not in the way you’re thinking. Rock an appearance that’s uniquely you, not Kim Kardashian or Katy Perry’s style. Sure you can copy a celebrity’s style every now and then, but make sure you are comfortable with anything you choose to wear.
If you’ve got great big eyes, accentuate them and study how to use them to flirt. If your lips are seductive, wear a color or gloss that highlights them and shows them to their best advantage. It’s how you wear it — not what you’re wearing — that determines whether you pull off a style or not.
While you put a lot of energy into choosing the right outfit and putting on makeup to be physically attractive, don’t overlook your scent. Scent is, after all, one of the biggest components of attraction , subtle though it may be.
Different scents can create different responses in terms of appeal. Rose oil, vanilla, lily of the valley, and fruit scents are all appealing to men. The key is finding a perfume or fragrance that mixes well with your own pheromones and that you enjoy smelling on yourself.
Hygiene! This one is simple. If you’re not big on the whole bathing routine, that’s fine, I get it. Let’s aim for a shower once a day and possibly a laundry cycle once a week—baby steps. If you do the basics, you’ll be fine.
Men like clean women. You don’t have to look like Mr. Clean, but, not smelling from last night’s dinner is appreciated. I mean, come on, you want a guy who smells good, right? Same goes for you.
4.Keep Parts of You a Mystery!
Hold out! Don’t tell your life story right away or go into all your past relationships or why you sued your first husband. Have some mystery about yourself. Hold back on all the details that make you, decidedly you. Tell just enough to have him want to know more about the intriguing, irresistible you.
You might be one of those people who shares everything about yourself easily. While that’s admirable in an established relationship, I encourage you to reserve some of the facts and data about yourself when you first meet a man. Men like a little mystery, and it gives them more to look forward to learning about you over time.
Let’s say you’re on a date and you’re talking about your college experiences. You mention that you broke your neck on Spring Break sophomore year and this dude is dying to learn more. What do you do?
“That’s a story for another date.”
Now he’s intrigued and will definitely ask you out again so he can hear more about your fascinating college years.
You can also create mystery around what’s currently happening in your life. If you just started dating a man and you haven’t established exclusivity, you can leave him wondering who you were out with. If he asks what you were up to last night (and in reality, you were with your girlfriends binge-watching reality tv), you can just say you were out at dinner. Let him fill in the blanks.
- Be Patient
You may be Scratching your head as to why ‘Patience’ is on the list of tips for how to be irresistible to men?
Please Hear me out.
Love takes time; I once had a client who was in her late 30s wanting to have kids. She became so frustrated trying to find Mr. Right so she could start making babies with him that she changed her dating strategy. Where she’d been dating only one man at a time, she felt like time was slipping away, so decided to date multiple guys at the same time for several months.
It worked! By the end of it, all three guys she’d been dating were chasing her! She chose the one she really liked — loved, in fact. They got married a year later, and now have two little toddlers running around…all because she was not patient. She didn’t force things with one guy, but instead took the time to know three different men at the same time. Had none of them been the right fit, she would have kept dating.
I know how frustrating it is to date, especially if you’re in your 40s, 50s, or older. But trying to rush finding the right man won’t actually work, and you could end up getting even more hurt. And guys smell desperation. So if you go out with a man trying to make him right for you when he’s not, he’ll probably bolt.